So here is the long story about my injury (AKA Mr Bursitis) that has been torturing me for about 11 months (which I never could have imagined...) WARNING for some really nasty pictures... I recommend you to read on the phone, the pictures got HUGE on the computer...
I've cried rivers over this knee, I've had countless sleepless nights due to the pain. And I've had hopes and dreams crashed. It all started with a fall on the trail on Transrockies run which Sanna and I ran as a team. It's a stage race, so there's a new race every day for a week. This happened the second day. My knee hurt, but I've had many races with pain here and there, so there wasn't in my mind to stop this time either. "No pain no gain" Heard that one before? (I will never, ever use that again)-
As many times when you have adrenaline, you don't feel the pain as much as it actually hurts. So we managed to finish the week (second overall) and felt so good. But the days after I could barely walk...
2 weeks later there was another big race which we ran the year before too. Transalpine run. Also a stage race. A very tough one, with more than 250 km and 16.000 m of elevation gain. But we had a blast last year, winning after suffering also with some injuries, but we made it, so why wouldn't we this time? Now we were in great shapes aswell with many skyrunning races and training in the alps the whole summer.
I hadn't been running anything for the 2 weeks I had at home, in my naive thoughts that was enough time to be recovered. But my knee was still not happy. But we still stood on the startline. The atmosphere was amazing and it's so fun to run every day to different places! I really love stage races, but my knee hurt every single step. If I cared? No. We finished last year, and I haven't had that much pain ever in my life, so this little knee pain wouldn't stop me. So we ran and won again and were happy. Until my knee blew up on the plane on the way home to Sweden.
There was like a foam ball on the knee. It looked funny, and I didn't think it was too serious. A friend told me it was a Bursitis. I googled. I googled a lot.
A Bursitis is inflammation of a small fluid-filled sac (bursa) near your knee joint. Bursae reduce friction and cushion pressure points between your bones and the tendons, muscles and skin near your joints. So first things you see is REST, ELEVATION, ICE and COMPRESSION. I did that for three days. and then we were off to Scotland for the World Champs in Skyrunning... DID I EVEN HAVE A BRAIN BACK THEN!?!?!
Okeyokey, even if you're not injured after a week of racing TransAlpine Run. You just don't race three days after a week of racing TransAlpine Run. YOU JUST DON'T!!! But we did. I mean, It's the World Champs? Hah so stupid.
And you know what's more stupid? Going home, google and don't go to the hospital, since on the internet, you should just do the things I already did. Only in severe cases, the doctor will take out the liquid in the knee. But that sounded scary.. And my case couldn't be that severe.. Right?
So instead I organised a race a home.(Åre Trail) Do you know how much work that is? I marked the whole courses, but walking, so in my opinion it was like resting, since I didn't run. Well, it certainly didin't make my knee better.
And you know what's even more stupid? Refuse to go to the hospital since you're afraid of what the answer might be and that it might stop you to go on the Adventure race in Patagonia that you have planned to the week later. A non-stop Adventure race for about 3 days with running, orientering, paddling and mountain biking with 4 team mates. In PATAGONIA! Just the name made me shiver before going. What a dream place! And I couldn't let my team mates down eihter. We were going!
The race and evrything is another story, which you can read about at www.syskonkarlek.webblogg.se
So after 3 weeks in Patatgonia with a blown up and painful knee I finally went to the hospital when back in Sweden. The doctor aspirated the bursa with a needle to reduce excess fluid and also injected cortison to reduce inflammation. What she didn't told me was to keep still and NOT bend the knee. (I actually asked!). So I was super stoked to be without a foam ball on the knee and biked just after. Also biked the next day. And so the foam ball was back...
Now the story goes on repeat. I saw another doctor which gave me a better impression, he seemed to know what he was doing. Well he didn't.
Totally I got 4 corison injections in the bursa after aspiration (it filled up every time evntohugh I was still) in only one month. Later I learned that you should only do that PER YEAR.
As the fourth time didn't work, the doctor said I needed a surgery to take the bursa away. And so it was Christmas and all the holidays. So I just waited and waited to get an appointement with a orthopedist to get a date for surgery. And in that waiting time, My skin on the knee got super sensitive and soon some weird scratches appeared. They got worse and worse and when I finally had a day for surgery (I went to the south of Sweden to get a sooner date) the doctor didn't want to do the surgery since it was a too risky one with the wounds. So they, together with the phsyios ordered me rehab training instead.
The wounds got even worse and Now the countless days at hospital with all kinds of different treatmens to heal the wounds on the knee started. But nothing worked. The wounds were first yeast infected, and then some oher infection so I had different medicins too. I ate antibiotics for more than 1 month. I did everything I could to find someone or something that could help me.
Infectious wounds is a fucking PAIN IN THE ASS! It hurts so much so It's hard to describe. I just read my dairy from february, and there I have written that I feels like someone constanlty is screwing a bolt in my knee, or shooting me. And that I had for some months. Constant pain.
Every third day I visited the hospital so they could treat the wounds. Every time there was fibrin on that had to be removed with a little knife, and then some special things on. That pain, when scraping off the fibin from the open wounds, I couldn't hold back the tears sometimes, the whole body just stings and shivers!
In May when I had 3 differemt treatments at the same time I started to see some results. Every morning and every night I took care of the wounds at home in order from the doctor. I also went to a private clinic to get laser, and also bought one home. I went to both Umeå and Stockholm to see 5 different doctors so I could gather proffessional thouths from diffent specialists. Everyone said surgery, and now it was time, since the wound looked much better.
The health care in Sweden is famous for being so good. That makes me sick. Knowing that there are so many worse places than what we have is soooo sad! Because I don't think it works good at all. There are always so much waiting eventhough the doctors and nurses work their asses off! And I really put my trust on them, but in the end, some doctors just don't know what they are doing...
The surgey felt good anyhow and I was super motivated to get back and finally be without Mr bursitis on my knee. But things didn't go my way this time either... My whole leg hurt very much and was super swollen, and totally blue! I called the nurses three times but they didn't take me seriously, just said that it's normal to be swollen, just eat some pills.
Well, when I was supposed to remove the stiches two weeks later, blood was sipping out and the nurse looked frightened and wanted the doctor to see me. But they just talked on the phone, and he wasn't worried at all, just wait one more week he said. WAIT!??? Yep. I got an compression sock and had to wait until next week, and the doctor himself was supposed to remove the stiches. He just said. "Oh..." When he saw it. "Have you eaten lunch yet?" I hadn't, and was super hungry. "Good. don't eat or drink anything, you need a new surgery tonight. We will call you when you have a time."
Apperently there had been so much space in the knee after removing the bursa, so that had been filled up with blood that had coagulated. So it all had to be opened up again and drained.
I was devastated. So many times I have had hope, and every time it's been a setback...
I waited and waited the whole day for them to call. At 7 they eventually did. And said that I had to wait until the next morning since they had got 2 more acute operations...
Another setback. At least I could finally eat.
Next day I got the first time they had in the morning, so I was happy for that. Though I went to the wrong place and anoher very kind doctor drove me to the hospital I was supposed to be in. Thank god I met him, otherwise I would have had to wait until the last one!
Preparing for a surgery you should wash yourself with a special soap twice at home, which I did the first time. But now since I had an acute time that was not important. Then you shoudn't eat or drink for at least 6 hours. Then you get special clothes, blood test, pain killers and tubes to your arms. A lot of waiting, then many people in a big light room (feels like you're in a spaceship), and you get the breathe in a tube. And then you sleep. And wake up. And hopefully you have had your surgery in just a blink!
This time I had so much pain in the knee so they gave me morfine 4 times. After that the pain dissappeard but I felt sooo dizzy, sick and tired so all I wanted to do was to sleep. And all the nurses wanted was to get me up going. I stayed 8 hours after the surgery until I had to put all my strenght to really force me to get out and then crash in the sofa at home, with dad serving me pesto pasta, chickpeas and watermelon which I craved. (at the hospital I got dry bisquits and lemonade, why can't they serve anything better?? )
If you thought the story ended here you're wrong. I put my leg high and rested as I was ordered to, but after a day I got some really bad pain in my calf. I thought I had got a muscle strain, weird since I hadn't been moving much... After 3 days I got a bit worried. I googled. Sometimes google is really good. The order was, Head to the Emergency room! Suspected thrombosis, it can be really dangerous if it goes up to the lungs.
As I mentioned before, there are always lack of staff, so When going to the emergency room, you're not exactly being treated as emergency as long as you're not dying...
Sanna was so kind and stayed with me the whole night (Me in a bed and she was sitting in a chair) After 6 hours I met a doctor. But not until the day after, in the afternoon I got to do ultrasound which showed that I had got a thrombosis... So now i eat blood-thinning medicine for three months.
The worst thing is and has been that I don't know when this will end. Living unknowing.
It's also hard not beong able to get any endorphines, from having a high pulse and breathing from running or biking or any cardio. I find it really hard to push myself only with my arms (as I can't bend my knee right now). It's really like being a prisoner in my own body. I just want t move! I want to walk, run and dance freely!
So I just want to tell you who read this. Don't push through an injury. It's not worth it to risk getting it worse. But if you're not injured. LIVE! MOVE! RUN! Take the opportunity you have to use your body outside in the nature! The gym has been my lifesaver during this time, but it's also a place I don't want return to when I'm recovered (because I WILL BE!!), it's so much more to discover and feel outside than being inside in a gym...
And be happy if you can move. It's the best thing in the world to use your body to what it's capable of. Be happy for the little things.
I've tried a lot to be happy, and some days I really am, I'm so lucky to have a family and being born in Sweden, I have so much to be thanful for. But I'm also very sad and feel sorry for myself. And that is OK too. We have to let ourselves be down, so we can rise again! I'm so fed up with this now and it's bursting in my chest. When I'm back, I WILL BE ON FIRE! ;)
During all these months it has been very up and down what I have been able to do or not. I have been skiing a lot and being outdoors, without that I would have gone completley nuts!
I have also been Ice scating in November
I have painted a lot.
I have cooked a lot, eaten a lot and taken pictures.
And I have cried A lot.
But also laughed.